Friday, December 19, 2014

Hamlet Part 8: The End's Not Near, It's Here

Yes, I just named this post after an episode of The O.C. Deal with it. That show was great and I will fight anyone that says differently. Actually, I've been Christmas shopping all day, so I'll pretty much just fight anyone. Anyway, welcome to the final Hamlet post! I'm finally done with this damn play. It has taken me exactly the same amount of time to finish as a full damn novel. Sorry about that. But
The end has come, my friends. Prepare for the deaths of everyone.
there's a lot to be said about Shakespeare. Alright, on to the text.

Act 4 Scene 7

Between this scene and the last, Claudius and Laertes had their little off-screen "trial" to determine if Claudius was guilty of killing Polonius or not. Apparently, it came out favorably for Claudius because he and Laertes are totally bros now. Laertes has come to the (correct) conclusion that Hamlet killed Polonius and asks why Claudius hasn't done something about him yet. Claudius says that it's because of Gertrude, who is, you know, Hamlet's mother for Christ's sake. Also, people generally like him and would be upset if he died. Laertes begins to plot his revenge on Hamlet, which Claudius fully encourages.

Claudius is given Hamlet's letters. You know, the ones he somehow sent from a ship while being held captive by pirates. Totally a normal thing. Anyway, Claudius is confused by his letter, which says that Hamlet will be back in Denmark the following day. Claudius thinks that it must be a trick. Laertes, however, is excited because he knows he will soon have his revenge on Hamlet.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Whoopsie Daisy

My behavior has been terrible. I'm very sorry.
Okay... You may have noticed that I haven't been "posting" or "writing" or "acknowledging your presence in any way" in the last... while. Like, 2 weeks? That's all because I'm a generally shitty blogger with no follow-though and a shit-ton of things to do. Christmas is hard. Working 6 days a week is also hard. But let's make a deal right here and fucking now. I WILL POST FRIDAY NIGHT. This Friday, December 19th (yes, I had to look that up), I will post some motherfucking Hamlet so help me god. If I don't, you are cordially invited to come kick my lily-white Irish ass. I certainly deserve it.

So, there were are. I will return to my regularly scheduled nonsense and swearing this coming Friday. I promise not to take any more unscheduled, unmentioned breaks again. Hopefully, I will be finishing Hamlet soon (for fucks sake, it's taken far too long already) and then we will move on to something different. Maybe more contemporary work, like something written in the last 100 years might be nice.

Until Friday (I fucking promise), Happy Reading

Friday, November 28, 2014

Hamlet Part 7: Sunday has Moved to Friday

Okie dokie artichokies, it's time for some Shakespeare. I know I promised you some on Sunday, but, to be fair, I didn't say WHICH Sunday. Maybe I was planning on posting a different Sunday? Or maybe I just forgot and I am trying to cover up my asshole ways with smoke and mirrors? Hmmm... The world may never know. Also, I'm pretty sick and doped up on cough syrup, so this may or not make the most sense in the world. Anyway... Hamlet!

Act 4 Scene 4

Alrighty, this in another short scene. This is the first scene that doesn't take place in Denmark. At first, we are presented with Fortinbras, the leader of the Norse army that is fighting Denmark over something or other. The war isn't super important except as a metaphor and to provide Hamlet with a reason to change from being a wishy-washy asshat to being a take-charge asshat. Anyway, Fortinbras. Which is an awesome name, to be honest. One of you should name your child that. Go on. Do it. Fortinbras wants an audience with Claudius in order to pay him respect. I thought they were at war? What the fuck? Okay, I totally didn't just cheat and google it. Apparently, Dead King Hamlet killed Old Fortinbras (Fortinbras's father, of course) and seized control of Norway. Fortinbras is apparently biding is time until he can attack Denmark and take back what is his (Norway). Fortinbras is in charge of protecting a worthless piece of land against Poland. I guess they  are at war, but with Poland. Why does everyone want to conquer Poland? What beef does everyone have with them?

Okay, Hamlet pops into the scene. Fortinbras probably isn't Hamlet's biggest fan, all things considered. Hamlet is struck by the assignment that Fortinbras and his men are charged with. Why defend a useless and worthless piece of land that isn't big enough to bury the dead should it come to war? What is the point? Hamlet takes this as an opportunity to soliloquize all over the place. He
Good job, you identified your major flaw.
identifies his main problem - his tendency to talk himself out of action. He calls himself a coward and points out his fear of death. He then resolved to be less like that, saying, "O, from this time forth/My thoughts be bloody or be nothing worth!" Okay, we're going to finally see some action from Hamlet.

Friday, November 21, 2014

One Out of Two Aint Bad

I owe the douche jar for this malarkey.
Okay, so... I didn't post an update. I had a job interview in Seattle, so I moseyed my ginger ass up there at 11 this morning and didn't get back until about an hour ago. I'm really really tired and kinda grumpy, so I'm going to forego Shakespeare for tonight. Also, for tomorrow. We're having a birthday party for my momma, so I won't be around to post. However, Sunday is an attractive option. I hereby
swear to post an update on Sunday. If I fail (and considering my track record, it's more than possible) you are all invited to kick me. Sound like a deal?

TLDR: No update today. Come back Sunday. There will be something here Sunday. Hopefully Shakespeare.

Until Sunday, Happy Reading

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Hamlet Part 6: Everyone is a Sneaky Liar

Are you ready, kids? [Aye, aye, Captain!] Oooooh.... Who lives in Denmark and is kinda crazy?! Literally everyone in this play. That doesn't rhyme, but it is hella accurate.

Now that that little bit of weirdness is out of the way, 'tis time for some Hamlet to slake thine lust.

Act 4 Scene 1

Okie dokie, in this scene, Gertrude meets up with Claudius and immediately tells Claudius that Hamlet killed Polonius. Which is, if you remember back to the last scene, exactly what she told Hamlet she would not do. So... there's that. No one ever does what they say they will in this play. That's probably why everyone dies. I'd say "spoiler alert," but this play was written in 1601. If you
This works for all the tragedy plays, really.
don't know how it ends, that's kinda your problem. Anyway, R +G are also there, but they don't speak and are quickly shooed away.

Claudius asks Gertrude what Hamlet is doing now. Apparently, he has gone to dismember Polonius's body and hide it. Because that is a totally normal thing to do. I retract what I said in the last Hamlet update. Hamlet is fucking crazy. But he comes by it naturally. Everyone in this play is fucking nuts and really bad at planning shit out. Foresight is, apparently, not a royal trait.

Claudius calls R + G back into the scene and tells them to go find Hamlet and get him to tell them where he hid the body. They are to then take the body to the chapel and make it quick. They leave (again, without saying a word) and Claudius points out the Hamlet is a nut and that they should probably be careful to not end up in his cross-hairs. No shit, Sherlock.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

I Owe You All an Apology

shit. Fuck. Cock. I fucked up. I totally forgot to post yesterday. I had work and then fucked off to my parents house to get whisky drunk and play shuffle board with old guys. I'm so infinitely sorry.
As a means of a Mia culpa, I offer this: two posts this week. I'm going to give you one Thursday night and one Friday afternoon/night. Okay?
Until Then, Happy Reading

Friday, November 14, 2014

Taking a Break From Shakespeare to Watch Shakespeare

Okay, kittens. I just wanted to let you all know that I will be making a Hamlet post tomorrow night. Tonight, I'm going to see my lovely friend /adopted sister Tatum perform in Macbeth! I'm excited and I know she'll be awesome.
Until Tomorrow, Happy Reading

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Something Wicked This Way Comes

You're all lovely and I adore you!
Yes, that is from The Scottish Play, but go with me here. Ads are about to be a thing on this site. They will be appearing in the left side tool bar I know it's kinda lame, but a bitch needs to eat. It's no cause for alarm. I'm actually pretty jazzed about it.

That's really all I've got for you today. I just wanted to give everyone a heads up regarding the ads.

Oh! If anyone could do me a solid and link me to some Lion King gifs, I'd love you forever and ever. I mean, I'm going to anyway because you read this silly blog, but you may get something else out of it. Maybe a mention and a special dedication? I don't know. You set the terms. Ask and ye shall receive!

Okie dokie, nerds. I'll see you this weekend!

Until Next Time, Happy Reading

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Hamlet Part 5: The Madness Continues in a Timely Manner

Gather round, ladies, gents, and variations there upon. It's time again for another exciting installment of Hamlet, or: Denmark's Royal Family is a Bunch of Murderous Wingnuts. Today we're going to be finishing up Act 3. Let's do this!

Act 3 Scene 3

Okay, when last we met, Hamlet had just presented the play to his mother, Gertrude, and step-father/uncle, Claudius. Act 3 Scene 3 is a short scene that begins with Claudius talking to R+G. Claudius tells the pair that he is displeased with Hamlet (no shit). He tells them to prepare to go to England with Hamlet. His plan is to get Hamlet killed there. Whether he wants R+G to kill him or is planning on someone else doing it, it's never discussed. Which is super helpful. Because this play is not hard enough to read without missing information. Anyways, Claudius tells R+G to hurry the fuck up and they leave.
Literally Polonius

Polonius enters the scene to relate to Claudius what Hamlet is up to. He says that Hamlet is going to meet with Gertrude. He tells Claudius that Gertrude will surely scold him for what has just taken place (the play with the implied accusation of murder). He then tells Claudius that he is going to go hide in Gertrude's room and listen to their conversation and relate back to Claudius what was discussed. Again, I totally understand why Hamlet is going so batshit crazy. I would, too,if this fool was always spying on me for the dude who murdered my father. Claudius thanks Polonius and Polonius leaves to go be the shady fucker he is.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Hamlet Part 4: Hamlet is a Dick to Everyone About Everything

Soft, what update from yonder browser breaks. I have returned with more Shakespeare! Huzzah. Also, I know that paraphrase is from Romeo and Juliet, arguably the worst Shakespeare play around, but I couldn't resist. Anyway, on to the text!

Act 3 Scene 1

When we last checked in (which, I know, was roughly 6 years ago, sorry), everyone was coming up with cunning plans to trick one another into revealing things. Hamlet wanted Claudius to admit to killing his father and Claudius wanted to know what the fuck was up with Hamlet losing his damn mind. This scene begins with a return to the plan that Claudius put forth. He is discussing Hamlet's state of mind with the Queen, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Polonius and Ophelia are also there, but they don't chime in for a bit. R + G (as they will be called from now on because those names are a bitch to type out) report to Claudius that Hamlet considers himself distracted, but won't say by what he is distracted. They tell Claudius and Gertrude about Hamlet's play, but not the intentions behind it. Claudius and Gertrude tell R + G to encourage Hamlet with the play. R + G say they will and leave. Claudius then asks Gertrude to leave as well, so that he and Polonius can get down to the business of ticking Hamlet into admitting that he is in love with Ophelia or some shit. They are still laboring under the impression that Hamlet's lunacy is due to his affections for Ophelia and not due to the fact that Claudius murdered his father and married his mother, which was related to him by the ghost of his dead father. The more of this play I read, the more I am convinced that Hamlet's madness is justified. Polonius then tells Ophelia to pretend she is reading and then he and Claudius hide like fucking 4-year-olds. I picture them hiding behind curtains snickering with their feet clearly visible underneath. Or maybe I'm just imagining Hamlet if it were a Python sketch.

At this point, we are presented with the world famous 'to be or not to be' soliloquy. It is beautiful and
deep and all that. Mostly, it's about Hamlet deciding whether or not he should commit suicide. He goes over why he would (because life is generally shitty) and also why people tend to not kill themselves. The crux of his argument is this: People don't commit suicide because they don't know what is waiting for them on the other side. He concludes, "Thus conscience does make cowards of us all," meaning that he won't kill himself because he doesn't know what will happen to him in the afterlife. Although, as someone who has seen and spoken to a ghost, wouldn't he have at least an idea of what the afterlife is like? 

Friday, October 31, 2014

I Suck

So please, bear with me. I hope I used the correct 'bear' there.
Okay, so I got a bit distracted and didn't post today. I'm the worst, I know. But here's the thing, I actually went out and did something tonight (which totally wasn't drink with my parents, so there).
However, I will have a shiny new update for you all lovely people tomorrow night. I swear on all that is right and holy, this will happen, so help me god.

Until Tomorrow, my lovelies, Happy Reading.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Back In Action

Alrighty, my friends. I finally got my laptop back. It's running great, so I'm going to be getting back
on track with updates. Expect one next Friday (yes, Halloween). I will see you all then!

Until Next Time, Happy Reading

Monday, October 20, 2014

An Updatie From Katie

Okay, troops . My oldest brother is finding me a new fan for my laptop as we speak. If all goes as planned, I should have it back by the end of the week. So, I may be able to post on Friday. If not, I'll post next week. Thank you for sticking with me during all this nonsense.
Check back Friday, there will be something new here regardless of laptop availability.

Until next time, Happy Reading.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Worst. Blogger. Ever.

So, my laptop broke. Until I can get it fixed (which, hopefully, will be soon) I won't be able to post an update on Shakespeare. I'm very sorry, but unforeseen circumstances are a bitch. I can't even post the 'I fucked up' cat gif! I'll let you all know when my shit gets fixed and I can return to my regularly scheduled ham-fisted swearing and nonsense.

until next time, Happy Reading.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Hamlet Part 3: Late Night with Hamlet Prince of Lunacy

I promise you an update, so an update you shall receive! Yay for follow-through, I guess.

Act 2 Scene 1

This scene sees Polonius talking to one of his attendants about his son, Laertes. Polonius is increasingly painted as a fool. Here, he is telling his attendant to find Laertes in France and basically spread rumors about him. I think his aim to is get Laertes to come back to Denmark. I don't really know and he never really says. The attendant is pretty confused by the whole thing, too, but he agrees. I think he agrees mostly to shut Polonius up for a while. He basically just gives Polonius an 'okie dokie, dude' and leaves when Ophelia arrives.

Okay, so now it's Ophelia and her dad hanging out. Ophelia reveals that Hamlet has been making advances at her (how scandalous!). Hamlet showed up at her place all disheveled. Polonius suggests
Seriously, Polonius is a dick to Ophelia.
that he is 'Mad for thy love.' Ophelia can neither confirm nor deny, but they run with the idea. Hamlet had acted all mysterious. Polonius thinks that they should alert the king, because that solves everything and Polonius is a dumbass. He then asks a victim-blamey question, "have you given him any hard words of late?' Basically, what did you do to deserve this? She says that she only did what he, Polonius, her father, told her to do. He, Polonius, her father, than says that that is the problem and he apologizes to her for giving bad advice. They then leave to alert the King that his nephew/step-son is kinda losing it.

This scene was mostly filler and not overly necessary. It was short and mostly a waste of time and brain power for all parties involved. For that reason, it is typically cut from productions and everyone should be happy for that.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Insert the 'I Fucked Up' Cat Wearing Shoes Gif Here

Literally me.
So... I didn't post an update yesterday because I'm a bad bad blogger. You see, I fucked up and slightly forgot. In my defense, Tuesday is no longer my day off. As a result, I will be moving regular posts to Friday, which IS my day off. I promise, hand to whichever god you choose, I will post a goddamn update on that crazy motherfucker Hamlet on Friday, so help me god. Perhaps 'motherfucker' is the wrong term. He tends to REALLY hate his mother. But I digress...

So that's it. Come back Friday if you aren't already sick of my shitty blogging and my inability to keep to a schedule. I will be here with Shakespeare and snacks. But,  you know, only for me. I can't really share snacks through the internet. If I could, I would, friends. But, alas, 'tis not to be.

Until next time, Happy Reading.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

The Maze Runner Movie: Everything is Going to Change

That's not just the major theme of the book and the movie, it's also what they should say to you right before you enter the theater. Oh Boy. Where to begin?
You have been warned.

This movie was obviously not for the people who read the book. You know how I can tell? They changed every. single. fucking. detail. Nothing was the way it happened in the book. All the major happenings still happened: Thomas entered the Glade, he entered the Maze to help Minho and Alby, Chuck died, and they left the Maze, but the way all of this happened didn't line up with the book. Literally everything in between was fucking different. No, I take that back. The character names were the same. Aside from that, it was unrecognizable to the book reader.

I don't understand how this could so miss the fucking mark. I don't get how something could be so entirely wrong. I understand that James Dashner was involved in the making of this movie, but where? Fucking how? Why would he let this happen to his book?

This movie can only tenuously be referred to as an adaptation. It's just so goddamn wrong. I left the theater in a haze of rage. I woke up this morning and assumed I had dreamed it and had not actually gone to see it, because it seemed like a fucking fever dream or something your brain would make up as a worst case scenario. I wish I hadn't fucking seen it. I have seen a lot of shitty adaptations, but this one takes the fucking cake.

There are some good things, though. The performances were great. Dylan O'Brian as Thomas was wonderful. The movie was very fast paced and action packed. It's one of those movies that seems like it goes by really fast, although that may have been due to the boiling rage in my heart, to be fair.

I was so looking forward to finally seeing this book that I invested so much time and energy into finally come to the big screen. I have never been so disappointed in my entire fucking life and I have led a pretty disappointing life.

I can only hope the sequel will be better.

Oh! Also, the way they pronounced 'Minho' was really fucking weird. I do not approve of this fuckery.

Okay! That's enough rage for now. I'll check back in later this week with a Shakespeare update.

Until next time, Happy Reading.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

I Fucked Up

Well, there's no update again today. I thought I could do it, but I can't. Split shifts are going to be the death of me. I'm just going to take this week at a loss. I've been really discombobulated lately and I need to get my head straight again. As a peace offering, I will be posting a review of the Maze Runner Movie on Saturday (I'm seeing the movie Friday). Should be a good time. The movie looks absolutely nothing like the book, so my expectations are low. But hey, I made it through 8 Harry Potter adaptations, 2 terrible Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movies, and the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, so I think I can handle this. And no, I'm not complaining about any of those (except the sisterhood movies, those were shit). So I'll see you all Saturday? Please? Please don't give up on me. I'm really sorry. It's won't happen again*.

* - it will probably happen again.

Until next time, Happy Reading.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The Sun Will Come Out...

I'm using this gif every time I fuck something up.
Tomorrow! Tommorow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be an update!

Not as catchy, but super effective. As you may have guessed by the Annie quoting, I will be posting an update tomorrow, instead of today. I just got back from a doctor's appointment (couldn't breath very well for about 4 days, which was fun), and I have to be at work in an hour, so there is no time for Shakespeare today. I know, I know, there is always time for Shakespeare, but I'm tired and I don't feel like spending the next hour writing an update that I might not be able to finish before I have to leave. So, for now, this will have to do. Tomorrow we will discuss the happening of the play, and the fact that Hamlet has already begun to lose his damn mind. Should be fun.

Until tomorrow, Happy Reading.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Hamlet Part 2: Better Late Than Never

Welcome back to Tuesday! It's lovely to see you all again. Or it would be, if this were a live discussion where I could actually see your lovely faces and not a one-sided virtual love-fest of
Nothing goes together better than Shakespeare and Hiddleston.
Shakespeare and sarcasm where I basically talk to myself. Anyway, on to the text!

Act 1 Scene 3

Laertes is having a conversation with his sister, Ophelia. Apparently, Ophelia has been seen carrying on with Hamlet. He asks her to stop seeing Hamlet because he (Laertes) is leaving. He tells her the Hamlet might love her, but he really only wants one thing. He tells Ophelia that it's not worth risking her honor over him, so she should just knock it off. Ophelia then tells him to not be a hypocrite and protect his virtue, too, because it would be really shitty of him to tell her to not get laid while he is doing whomever he likes. You tell 'em, Ophelia.

At this point, their father, Polonius, enters. He asks why Laertes is still hanging around. He asks in a nice way, he's not just being a dick. He's not Claudius, after all. Polonius gives Laertes some advice to take with him back to France. He tells Laertes a bunch of stuff that is pretty solid - listen and don't speak, be friendly but not common, don't lend or borrow. Most importantly he tells Laertes "to thine own self be true," which should sound familiar. It's also fantastic advice. Laertes then reminds Ophelia what he said, she reminds him what she told him, and Laertes exits.

Polonius is naturally curious as to what his two children were talking about. When she tells him they were talking about Hamlet, Polonius has a bunch to say. Polonius starts telling Ophelia that she doesn't know she doesn't know herself very well and asks what her relationship to Hamlet is. She tells him that Hamlet has told her that he has feeling for her. Polonius asks if she believes him. She doesn't know. Polonius says he will teach her. Because why not be a dick? Apparently he can only be respectful of one kid. He says that she shouldn't sleep with him because it would tarnish her honor and, more importantly, his own. Ophelia then basically says, "but daddy, he loves me!" Polonius again states that she shouldn't believe what he says and that she shouldn't even talk to him. Ophelia says she will obey and they leave the stage.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Oh Shit Moment

So... I forgot that yesterday was Sunday. Actually, that's a lie. I knew yesterday was Sunday, I just went to the Seahawks game and forgot that writing about Shakespeare was a thing I was supposed to be doing. However, I will post an update on Hamlet tomorrow. And my regular posts will be moving back to Tuesday since my second job has ended.

Okay? Sound good to everyone? Great. See you tomorrow.

Until tomorrow, happy reading.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Hamlet Part 1: Yes, I'm Actually Reading This for Fun

It's time to read some actual classical literature! I know you're all thrilled, as well you should be. I fucking love Shakespeare. Shakespeare is the writer of some pretty great puns, dick jokes, and wholesale lunacy, all of which are evidenced in this ridiculous but very serious play. We'll go slowly, so as not to overwhelm.

Act 1 Scene 1

At the beginning, there is a slow introduction of characters. A few guards are introduced, firstly Bernardo and Francisco. Francisco is coming to release Bernardo from duty for the night. Bernardo leaves after telling Bernardo to look out for Horatio and Marcellus. Horatio is a friend of Hamlet and Marcellus is another guard. Suddenly, as if on cue, Horatio and Marcellus appear. There are greetings and then Francisco leaves. None of this is very important. 

After Bernardo takes his leave, the others begin talking about an apparition they have seen the last
Even the captions think this is dumb.
couple of nights. Bernardo starts to tell the story when the apparition suddenly appears!  Bernardo tells Horatio to try to speak to it because "Thou art a scholar." Basically, 'you went to college. You go talk to it." Weird logic, but okay. The really weird this is: it works. Horatio actually tries to speak to the ghost. I don't know what kind of college Horatio went to, but I'm pretty sure 'ghost-whispering' wasn't part of the coarse work. Unsurprisingly, it doesn't work. The ghost walks off and Marcellus tells Horatio he offended it. I guess his schooling wasn't as great as previously thought. Horatio calls after it but Marcellus bursts his bubble with "'Tis gone and will not answer." Yeah, the only reason the ghost won't speak to you is because you offended it and it left, Horatio. Duh.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

The Death Cure Part 10 Phase 2: It's Really Over This Time

Alright, kids. It's time for the thrilling conclusion!

Chapters 64-END

Alright, last time we checked in, Thomas had just learned that the other Immunes that WICKED had kidnapped are being kept in the Maze. He heads out to try to find the rest of the Right Arm in order to get some help rescuing people. He gets outside and tries to find the hole that the Right Arm blasted into the building. He's creeping around and he finally sees it. There are two people in civilian clothes guarding the hole. They are members of the Right Arm, for sure. Thomas goes to walk to the hole
In which Rat Man is Pennywise.
and is stopped by one hand over his mouth and one wrapped around his chest. He is brought to the ground by an unnamed guard. Above him stands Rat Man. That creepy son of a bitch. He tells Thomas, "Looks like not everyone in my organization is on the same team after all...I guess we're going to have to do this the hard way." Rat Man they pulls out a long knife. "I've never thought of myself as a violent man, but you and your friends sure have driven me to the brink." He says that he is going to complete his project (i.e. murdering Thomas for his brain). The guard let's go of Thomas's mouth and Thomas takes that as an opportunity to go on the offensive. He kicks Rat Man in the face and wiggles away from the guard. He then kicks the knife away from Rat Man. There is a struggle where everyone is trying to get the knife. Thomas eventually gets it and starts trying to make a deal to get away. Rat Man's not going for it, so Thomas throws the knife and it sticks in the guard's neck. Then, Thomas runs for the hole in the wall. He yells to the Right Arm peeps that he's one of them. They just take him at his word because why be suspicious? WICKED isn't super shady at all.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Death Cure Part 10: Let's Get This Over With

For once, that is not just pithy sarcasm. That's the actual theme of the end of this book.
I couldn't do it all in one post.

Let's get down to it.

Chapters 51-64

I know, I promised I would finish the book. And, to my credit, I did. It's just a lot to get through, so this is going to have to be a two part write up. The book is finished and I was going to write it all up tonight, but I wrote about half and was over 1,700 words. I swear by all that is right and holy, I will post part 2 Tuesday

Okay, on to the text.

At the end of the last chapter, Vince of the Right Arm had revealed their plan to sneak into WICKED using their kidnapped Immunes as cover. He explain the plan a bit further. He tells Thomas that a member of the Right Arm has developed a chip that can shut down all of the weapons that WICKED use. See, they work on electronics and blah blah blah basically, they will have an even shot of taking the compound. Thomas agrees to plant the device, going in a few hours before the rest of the Right Arm comes. He is taught to use the device by the lady who designed it, and takes it with him in a backpack. This plan is put in motion when Thomas gets into a van with the guard who drove them to the current location and a Berg pilot who is going to fly them to a location near the WICKED compound and they head to the airport

Saturday, August 30, 2014

An Apology, An Explanation, and a Deal.

12 hour days are a bitch.
I'm very sorry for what I'm about to do to you. I have to forego my post tomorrow. My second job has been crazy. It's been a real all-hands-on-deck situation and I can't break away. So, unfortunately, I will be working tomorrow. If today is any indication, I will probably be there around 12 hours. While, yes, I could still probably make an update at some point tomorrow, I'm going to be too exhausted and irritated to do anything other than complain, eat, and complain some more.

As a bargain, I'll offer this. If you stick with me past this tiny bump in the road, I promise you, I will finish The Death Cure by next Sunday and present you with an extravagant, sarcastic, and by all accounts delightful final Death Cure update, complete with snarky title and reaction gifs aplenty. Does that sound good?

I didn't want to have to do this to you. I tried to find any way, any little crack of time to work in even a small update, but I'm just too fucking tired and done with everything. I'm so, so sorry about this. I really am.

Until next time, happy reading.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Death Cure Part 9: Everything is Terrible All the Time Always

It's Sunday yet again. Time for another update. I'm working on reading more per week, but I don't want to overwhelm you guys with this massive wall of text to get through. So it's opinion time. Would you rather have longer updates and finish the book itself more quickly, or would you rather have shorter updates that are easier to get through? Either works for me, I'm just a little surprised that we're already at part nine and I still have 100 pages to read. Let me know what you think.

On to the text!

Chapters 40-51

The gang has just left Newt in the bowling alley. They walk through the open door to see that the guards have gone and there are a shit-ton of Cranks outside waiting for them. Thomas, to his credit, just marches right fucking through. This kid is fucking done with everything. He knows that if they run, the Cranks will give chase, so he tries to remain calm, despite the fact that they are surrounded by bloodthirsty, mangled, bloody faces. Thomas leads them out into the outer parts of the Crank Palace.

Once they leave the Central Zone, Thomas hears someone tell them to run. It's one of the guards from earlier. He and his partner are hauling ass out of this alley. They have been relieved of their weapons and are being chased by some particularly ravenous Cranks. It basically plays out like any fast-zombie movie. While running, the guards tell the gang that they were attacked and dragged out of the Central Zone. All in all, not great for the gang. The guards turn down this other random alley and the gang continues toward the door. The gang is still being chased as they leave the Crank Palace and head toward the Berg. The gang all hit the Berg at once, far ahead of the Cranks who have no chance of catching up. Jorge flies the Berg up and lets it hover in the air above the Cranks so they can gather their thoughts.

I will stop using this gif when it stops being relevant.
Once in the air, the gang looks down at the Cranks who just chased them. They talk about the Cranks and what their lives must have been like a few months ago. Minho flips. "How can you worry about them? Was I alone just now? With my friend? His name is Newt." Kid's got a point. Minho slumps to the floor. "What happens when he runs out of Launcher grenades?" When no one responds, Thomas sinks down next to him and they sit in silence and joint misery for a while.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Death Cure Part 8: The Search for Spock

And by Spock, I mean Newt. After all the discussion of Red Shirt last week, it was hard to resist the Star Trek reference. And, as you will soon see, it is dripping in relevance. Let's get started.

Chapters 33-39

In the beginning, the gang is wandering around the city, trying to get to Newt, who is still wiling away his time off screen doing God knows what. After a while of not being able to find a cab, they conclude that it's too late and dark to leave that night (why they didn't just take Red Shirt's car, I will never know). Plus, the city seems super murder-y with everyone having disappeared after the issue with the Crank in the coffee shop. They are walking back to their hotel when Jorge suddenly stops. He tells the others that he hears something behind them. It's like a whispering. Brenda then shouts and points off into the distance. She saw something moving. She thinks it was a person who came out from behind a building and then just back. Minho starts shouting at the person Brenda saw, to no avail. Nothing more happens and they all go back to the hotel. Foreshadowing is lovely, but obvious in this book. It's like, 'oh, gee. I wonder if that will be important later.' Subtly is a lost art.

In the morning, the gang gets up and heads out to find Newt on the Berg where they left him. They walk
What a fucking horror show.
through the city in an attempt to find a cab. Again, they totally should have stolen that car. Everything would be much easier. But anyway, they walk down this dark alley and see movement in an empty lot. After a while, they see that it's a man who seems to be digging in the dirt for something. They continue walking but turn back at the end of the alley, everyone curious as to what the man was doing. As if sensing their curiosity, the man looks directly at them. He is covered in blood. It's on his face, his hands, it's coming out of his mouth. He then returns to what he was doing. The gang, naturally terrified, runs for two blocks until they find a cab. Once in the cab, Minho says what they were all thinking - they just saw a Crank eating a person. He continues with, "I'm pretty sure that's not something you're supposed to see during a nice leisurely stroll through a quarantined city in the middle of the day. I believe Gally. I think this place is crawling with Cranks,
and soon the whole city's gonna start killing each other." Minho's usually pretty sarcastic, but when he's not, he's pretty fucking spot on. The way Minho is used as both comedic relief and the unwavering voice of reason is effective and heartbreaking. The fact that, of all people, sarcastic dick Minho is the one to say these terrifying things means that they are true because, if even Minho can't make a joke about it, it's pretty fucking serious.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Death Cure Part 7: Everyone Instantly Hates Thomas

Hello. Welcome to Sunday. This seems weird to be blogging on a day that isn't Tuesday. But we'll see how this goes. Anyway, onto the reading!

Chapters 29-32

So we start out with the gang going to a coffee shop to get something to eat. The pick a table near the back and Jorge goes to get everyone some provisions. While they are sitting, Thomas notices a strange dude sitting near the window. He isn't drinking his coffee, but just staring at one space on the wall with a blank expression. Thomas points this out to Brenda, who says that he's on the Bliss and would end up in jail if anyone else noticed.

Jorge returns with food and everyone eats. They all stand to leave and Brenda tells Jorge and Minho to wait outside because she has to tell Thomas something. Minho gets frustrated with all the secrets being kept, but Thomas assures Minho that he will tell Minho everything. I just used Minho three times in one sentence, but it's the only way to be clear. Fucking limited English pronouns. Anyway, Minho and Jorge leave Thomas and Brenda alone. She begins to tell him the she meant everything she said in the Scorch, that he deserves to know things, and that there are things she needs to tell him. This all falls on Thomas's deaf ears because he
Thomas doesn't care anymore and it's lovely.
couldn't give less of a shit. He tells her flat out that he doesn't want to know. He doesn't care about the past, only what needs to happen next. She tells him that he is doing the right thing and she will keep helping.

Just then, the strange man by the window takes something out of his pocket and sticks it in his elbow. He instantly relaxes, catching the attention of a red-shirted Flare tester by the door. Red-Shirt walks over to strange window man. They start talking, but Thomas can't hear what they are saying. He watches intently. Brenda tells Thomas that they need to leave. He stands to go when Red-Shirt pulls out a gun. He announces to the crowd, "We've got an infected! Everyone evacuate the building!" Super helpful, dude. Nothing says 'doing your job' like causing mass panic. Everyone freaks out and runs for the one exit.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014


Thanks for understanding.
It helps if you read the title like a monster truck announcer.

So... I didn't read anything. I started a new job literally today. It was a surprise, thought it was just
orientation. That was... interesting. As a consequence, I will no longer be updating on Tuesdays. Your regularly scheduled programming will be moving to Sundays. Hence, the title.

Sorry for the lack of update. I'm doing stuff. And occasionally things. But I can promise you that Sunday is the new magic day for literary sarcasm.

Until Sunday, happy reading.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Death Cure Part 6: Shit's About to Go Down

Getting a new job!
Okie dokie, kids. I did very little reading this week. I've been busy as hell and I'm starting a new job soon I'm very excited for the new job, but there will probably need to be a revision of my update schedule. Stay
tuned for that. Anyway, on to the reading!

Chapters 26-28

I know, I know. Yes, that's all I read. Like I said, very busy. Things happening. Priorities.

Gally has just told the gang that the only doctor who can help remove or deactivate the Swipe from Thomas and Minho is being hunted by WICKED. The gang are all set to leave when Thomas tells Gally that he no longer blames Gally for anything. There's basic forgiveness, but they are still not buddies, you know? The feeling is totally mutual. They then discuss how they can help the Right Arm. Gally tells them to be back at his apartment before nine any day for the next week. He then says, "I don't think we'll make any moves before then." Thomas asks what he means by 'moves' but Gally doesn't explain, of course. No one explains shit.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Death Cure Part 5: Denver Not as Awesome as Previously Thought

Hello again, my lovelies. Tuesday has joyously come once again and with it comes another thrilling update on The Death Cure. Let's get started.

Chapters 21-25

Immediately revealing information? Unheard of!
Brenda begins by elaborating what she meant when she told Thomas that there was "something more important" waiting for them in Denver. I know what you're thinking, something is actually being revealed immediately after being brought up. No more cryptic, vague non-sense to deal with. Such a lovely concept. Anyway, she tells Thomas that there is a doctor in Denver who escaped WICKED's employ and will be able to remove the Swipe from the gang. That way, WICKED will not be able to control them in any way. She says that WICKED probably wouldn't risk activating them from so far away, but it would be better to be safe than sorry. Safety is another interesting and unheard-of concept for these damn books.

The next morning, they have a meeting between everyone on the Berg. They discuss, at length, whether or not they should go to Denver. There is a debate where Minho is opposed to going (for some reason) and Brenda is arguing for going. They eventually come to the unanimous decision to go. Then they go about their daily business of eating and whatnot.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Death Cure Part 4: Why Does Everyone Want to Shoot Thomas?

Hello and welcome back to another exciting installment of The Death Cure (read that in your best game show host voice). Let's jump right in, shall we?

Chapters 15-20

When we last left off, Brenda had made the observation that an unusual number of weapons were missing from the weapons depot. Minho suggests that it is simply because the guards knew something like this would happen and they were switching out their pistols for Launchers, which are less lethal. Brenda disagrees, telling the group that Launcher are standard equipment and there would be no reason to get more. She then brings up the oh-so-joyful fact that Cranks have broken into the facility before. They come to the assumption that this is what happened this time.
Everything about the Minho-Newt relationship is tragedy.

Newt then returns to the depot, after having left because of an argument with Minho (as you may remember). He then promptly gets into a fist fight with Minho. Minho reacts to tragedy with sarcasm, which is something I can sympathize with. He's being a dick to Newt because he doesn't want Newt to die, something else I can sympathize with. This isn't sitting well with Newt because, well, he's slowly losing his mind. Thus, conflict.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

The Death Cure Part 3: Everything is a Lie

We have a lot to get through today. Let's jump right in, shall we?

Chapters 8-14

So Thomas, Newt, and Minho are being marched away from Rat Man and the other Gladers by armed guards. Nothing says, "you're not prisoners here" quite the way that armed guards do. Anyway. They are shown to a room with bunk beds, a kitchenette, and a few other things. There's even food in the kitchenette. This place is a huge step up from the captivity the boys have experienced in the past. Thomas freaks because it wasn't that long ago that he was trapped in a room all by himself.

The boys get down to discussing their failed escape plan. They talk about Brenda for a bit. Newt and Minho say that she can't be trusted and she's just another WICKED stooge. Thomas disagrees (because of course he does). He thinks that she is really on their side he tells the others about what Brenda told him when she
Seriously, don't doubt how fucked up WICKED really is.
hugged him. He points out that he, too, used to work for WICKED and that they trust him, which is a good point I suppose. They then resolve to attempt to escape again the next day.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The Death Cure Part 2: Thomas is a Suspicious Little Shit

Sorry for posting this so late in the day. I slept late, shit needed to be accomplished, and it's about 4000 degrees outside. It seriously shouldn't be this hot in Washington. It's just rude. Anyway, on to the reading.

Chapters 5-7

So Rat-Man has just told everyone that they are going to get their memories back. Thomas is suspicious about the intentions behind this. Then again, Thomas is suspicious of everything. The real title of this series should be Thomas is Suspicious. Anyway, Thomas, Newt and Minho all protest having their memories
Like it said, super suspicious. Great work, Thomas. You finally figured it out.
returned, thinking that it could be a trick. They also assume that their memories will be bad ones, so they want no part of them. Seems like a logical reaction after everything they have been through.

Rat-Man tells the Gladers and Group B that they have a choice. They don't have to have their memories returned if they don't want them. He reveals to them how their memories were taken in the first place. There is a mechanical device (the Swipe) that has been placed in the part of their brains that controls long-term memories. This device is also what allows WICKED to control them (remember Gally killing Chuck in book one?) and allows Thomas, Teresa, and Aris to communicate telepathically. Taking the device out means that none of this will be possible. No more control and no more telepathy.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

The Death Cure Part 1: Even the Title Makes Me Nervous

Are you ready, kids? No, it's not Spongebob. It's time for book 3 of The Maze Runner series. The most ominously titled book I have ever read. The Death Cure. Let's do this.

Chapters 1-4

At the beginning of the book, Thomas is still trapped in the completely white room that he was put in at the end of The Scorch Trial. He had been in the room for three weeks. They never turn out the lights and there is nothing in the room except for a desk and a small toilet. Thomas sleeps curled up in the corner. He gets three meals a day, but they don't come at regular intervals and they are always the exact same thing. He has no way to actually tell how long he's been in the room except for instinct. Also, he hasn't had a shower since he was on the Berg leaving the Scorch, so he's pretty gross. In fact, the first line of the book is, "It was the smell that began to drive Thomas slightly mad." So there's that.

In Chapter 2, Rat-Man (the guy who told the Gladers about the Scorch Trial at the beginning of the last book) enters the room. Thomas is naturally hostile. There's a bit of verbal back-and-forth, with Thomas being antagonistic and Rat-Man being condescending. At the beginning, Rat Man gets really agitated and angry after Thomas questions his motives (I've included the passage below). Eventually, Rat-Man gets down to business. He tells Thomas that there is "no value in keeping you in the dark... Not anymore." This means that WICKED is going to start revealing important information to him and the Gladers (thank the gods for that). Rat-Man goes on to explain that they almost have all of the data they need in order to produce a cure for the Flare. There are only a few additional things, like fine-tuning that they need. They need the Gladers' input for this. He then tells Thomas that he does, in fact, have the Flare. But, here's the kicker, he is immune to it.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Scorch Trials 9: It Took Way Too Long to Read This Book

Okay, Kids. I'm finally finished with this God-forsaken book. I will warn you, you're about to be underwhelmed and not entirely surprised.

Chapters 56-End

A storm is brewing overhead, and Thomas, Teresa, and Aris are still behind the Gladers and Group B. They decide to catch up to the others, naturally. The deadline is slowly approaching, about three hours remain before they need to find the safe haven. Thomas, Teresa, and Aris start running to catch up to the others. While doing so, Thomas and Teresa talk telepathically (say that three times fast). He tells her about his weird memory/dreams and she tries to explain her actions again. Thomas isn't really having any of it, though.

That's seriously all it said.
Eventually, they catch up to the other groups, who are all standing around a stick in the ground that is exactly where they were told the safe haven would be. They are getting along because Harriet explained everything to Minho. The stick they are looking at has a ribbon on it that says 'The Safe Haven.'

There is about two hours left until they run out of time. Everyone just sort of sits around. They are exhausted and dejected. No one knows what the hell is going on. The storm is getting worse over head. There is wind and rain. It's starting to look like the storm from earlier with the lightning. No good. Brenda finds Thomas and has a very frosty conversation with Teresa, because why have two female characters be friends when they could be enemies?

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Scorch Trials Pt 8: James Dashner Should be Kicked

So... I didn't finish the book. In my defense, I'm working a shit-ton of hours, so I have very little time for reading. That combined with the fact that this book is increasingly fucking frustrating mean that I won't be done until next week.

Anyway, here goes nothing.

Chapters 49-55

Thomas is all about not being murdered by Group B. He's hella stoked about it. Only, not really because he's never happy about anything. This poor fucking kid. Anyway, Teresa is still gone, which is good because she's shady as fuck. Thomas briefly considers ditching Group B to try and find the Gladers. He doesn't but he thinks about it. He gets the low down on Group B's mission from Harriet, who is super helpful and seems genuinely nice. I'm thinking of her of a less sarcastic Minho, which makes me happy. Basically, they were told that they need to kill Thomas in order to get into the safe zone. That's not all though. Harriet tells Thomas that every interaction he has had with Teresa since hitting the Scorch has been a lie. She tells him that when they met in the shack outside the city, she was lying to him. It was a trick to give him a false sense
Teresa is a big, betraying liar. Not acceptable.
of security. Basically, Harriet pulls the rug out from under Thomas and Teresa's entire relationship.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Scorch Trials 7: Shit Gets Real

It's Tuesday once again. Hurray! Let's do this! (Sorry, I'm full of caffeine and sugar. I'm super pumped about everything right now).

Chapters 45-48

Fair warning, you're about to be super frustrated.

Okay. So Thomas and Teresa are unhappily reunited.  She and Group B have kidnapped Thomas. At the beginning of chapter 45, the are still with the Gladers. Teresa is being super sketchy, but keeps whispering to Thomas, acting like her old self. She hits him and then quietly whispers that it is for a reason. She says, "They're blocking me from talking to you in our heads. Remember to trust me." Later, she adds, "Hang in there. It'll be over soon." She whispers this only to Thomas. No one else can hear her. At this point, it is impossible to tell if she is lying to him. They then leave the Gladers with a parting threat of harm if they follow.

At this point, Teresa reveals that Group B is only doing this because they have been told to. WICKED has tasked Group B with killing Thomas in order to get into the safe haven. Teresa has also convinced the group that Thomas has done something to her, but won't tell him what it is supposed to be. Yet again, no information is shared. Everyone is hiding things from everyone else. The lack of information in this book is harrowing.

This becomes relevant again.
The girls drag (literally) Thomas up into the mountains. They arrive at Group B's camp and tie Thomas to a tree. Thomas tries to convince them that they don't want to kill him. Two girls, named Harriet and Sonya, seem to have been the leaders of the group before Teresa came along. They seem the most perceptive to Thomas's pleas. Thomas is reminded of the sign that was outside Teresa's door back in the dorm. You know, the one that caller her The Betrayer. However, Thomas still doesn't know if this is a trick by WICKED or an accurate description of Teresa.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Scorch Trials 6

Hi everyone! And welcome new readers who have come over from my Mary Sue article! It's lovely to have you and thanks for taking your time to check the blog out.

Let's get down to business. (If you say you didn't just finish that line from Mulan, you're a goddamn liar)

Chapters 42-44

This chapter begins with Thomas being airlifted back into the Scorch with the other Gladers, Jorge, and Brenda. She's still frosty toward him but everyone else just has a shit load of questions. Mostly, they want to know why Thomas is special. To be fair, Thomas would like to know as well. He explains exactly what happened and what was said, then they go to sleep so that they can walk toward the safe haven during the night when it is cool.

Why does everything have to be vague? Just say what you mean!
During the night, Theresa speaks to Thomas using Telepathy. She tells him that something awful is going to happen to him the next day. She says that he's going to be hurt and scared, but that they are going to be
back together soon.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Scorch Trials Part 5

It's Tuesday again, Hurray! Time for an update.

Chapters 39-41

Okie dokie, so last time, we ended with Thomas and Brenda being rescued by the very welcome return of Minho. Chapter 39 begins with Minho freeing the pair from their bonds and revealing a bit of how he and the other Gladers have survived thus far. Basically, Jorge (the other Crank the Gladers joined forces with) has been leading the remaining Gladers through the city. They had come across Thomas and Brenda just before they were taken hostage by the three Cranks from the alley. The Gladers then planned their ambush.

There's a bit of Thomas's internal monologue about the goddamn love triangle. I'm not going to go into it because I don't fucking care and it's not relevant to the story. I'm still really annoyed that this is part of the
Seriously, enough with the love triangles.
book for some fucking reason.

After this brief discussion, the three go upstairs to join the others, who are holding the Cranks hostage. There is only one Crank noticeably missing, the one with the gun. The Gladers head out into the alley. Once there, they are greeted by Crank with the gun, who shoots Thomas in the shoulder. Nothing ever gets better for this poor kid. Dystopian novels are hard on kids.

Anyway, the other Gladers carry Thomas away. He fades in and out of consciousness for a while. Someone removes the bullet from his shoulder. Thomas is in complete agony. After the bullet is removed, Thomas knows that he has an infection. He can feel it.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Scorch Trials Part 4!

As promised, here is part 4 of my thrilling Scorch Trials adventure!

Summary of Chapters 35-38

When we left off, Thomas and Brenda were sleeping in a truck. During the night, Thomas has one of his
dream/memories. In this one, he and Theresa are eavesdropping on a conversation between some WICKED officials. This takes part before the Maze trial, of course. They are a bit young, Thomas assumes around 14. There is a whole mess of really vague information discussed. The lack of information is really frustrating for both Thomas and the reader (this is intentional on the author's part, not poor writing).

When the pair wake up, Thomas discovers a sign like the ones that were in the maze (the ones with WICKED's full name). These signs, however, say something very different. They name Thomas as the true leader of the Gladers (we assume). Apparently, these signs are everywhere in the city, yet no one saw fit to discuss them before now. It sounds like another WICKED trick to me.

Friday, May 9, 2014

Notes on a Schedule

This is me trying to get everything done.
Okay, so I'm the least consistent blogger of all time. I'm terribly, horribly sorry. I've been busy and lazy and unmotivated to read. I'm a really slow reader. But, from now one, I will adhere to a schedule.

I hereby decree that, from this day forth, I will post an update every Tuesday. That's right, kids, you heard it here first. I will become reliable! I promise.

Now that that's sorted, I just want to say thank your for sticking with me this long. I will do better from now on. In reward for your patience, I would like to present you with the adorable cat gif to the right. You're welcome.

Until next time, happy reading.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Scorch Trials pt. 3

As promised, here is part three of my exciting Scorch Trials saga. I know, you're all extremely excited.

Summary of Chapters 34

I know, I'm very lazy and only read one chapter. I'm as shocked and disheartened as you. In my defense, I have been busy. Anyway, on to the facts.

When we left off, Thomas had just killed a Crank that was trying to kill him. Understandably, he is a bit upset about this. Thomas and Brenda watch the Crank spasm and die quite horribly. Thomas then says something that is incredibly emblematic of a shift for the novel, "He'd had enough of long dark tunnels. Enough to last a lifetime. 'I want daylight, I don't care what it takes. I want daylight. Now.'"

Friday, May 2, 2014

Scheduling Update

So, I'm the least consistent blogger in the world. I've been horrible at keeping up with reading and writing. I just got a new job and have been trying to get all of those ducks in a row. But, at long last, I will be posting an update tomorrow. I promise.

If I don't post tomorrow, you are all cordially invited to kick my ass, verbally or otherwise.

Until tomorrow, happy reading.

Monday, April 28, 2014

The Scorch Trials pt. 2

Okay, kids. Part 2 of my Scorch Trials saga begins now.

The What and When of Chapters 29-33

At the start of Chapter 29, the Gladers have joined forces with Jorge and his fellow Crank Brenda. Jorge comes up with a plan to ditch the rest of his Crank crew. They then head to the place where Jorge has stashed their food. The Gladers get some food in them for the first time in a while.

Immediately following the meal, there is an explosion that caves in the roof of the underground room they are in. Of course there was an explosion. Why wouldn't something bad happen? Thomas is separated from the rest of the group with Brenda.

Brenda then leads Thomas through the underground tunnel system, called the Underneath. The people in this book are terrible at naming things. While in the Underneath, Thomas and Brenda are chased by a group of Cranks that are really Gone (meaning that the Flare has taken hold and they have lost their minds). The leader of the group taunts Thomas and Brenda, saying that he is going to cut off their noses. What a creep. Thomas and Brenda run and find a hiding place in a wall. They think they are safe for a while.

After a bit, they decide it's safe to leave the hiding place. One of the Cranks, the one with the odd fixation on noses, had waited for them. He attacks them there is a brief struggle, then Thomas kills the Crank. This marks the end of Chapter 33.


I'd like to discuss with you something I've noticed popping up time and again in this book. A fair number of scenes take place in complete darkness. Every time the Gladers enter a new space, it is completely pitch black. This is a device used to symbolize the metaphorical darkness the Gladers are being kept in. Every time they think they are getting somewhere, they are met with a void. They are never given any information, so they are in the dark about their situation. Using physical darkness at a symbol for the metaphorical darkness drives home for the reader how hopeless and confusing their predicament really is.

That's going to be it for today. Apologies for the lack of pictures and the incredible delay. My internet is still not working, so I've had to type this all out on my phone. That's how much I love you.

Until next time. And, as always, happy reading.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Yet Another Delay

Shit. My internet is down again, so I won't be able to post an update until Monday when the new router gets here.

I'm super sorry about all of the time delays. I promise, first thing Monday we'll talk about the constant darkness in the book and what it represents. I know, a rousing discussion of symbolism makes every Monday better.

Until then, happy reading.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Back on Track

Okay, found another copy of The Scorch Trials, so I am back on track. I will post an update sometime tomorrow. Until then, happy reading.


Okay, tiny spot of bother to deal with. I have to return The Scorch Trials to the library today. I'm currently looking for a service to read online for free (I'm equal parts cheap and broke). Until then, I'm putting a pause on the book. I don't anticipate this lasting longer than a couple of days.

Sorry for the inconvenience. Or wait time. Whatever you want to call it.

If anyone could recommend a service, I would really appreciate it.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The Scorch Trails

Book Selfies are a thing, right?
Okay, now I'm going to catch you up to where I am in The Scorch Trials. I'm on page 164, on the first page of chapter 29. Read to that point and we'll discuss from there.

Just kidding. I'm totally going to give you a summary.

Fair Warning: obviously I haven't finished yet, so I'm not positive on what is going to be relevant later in the book. I will try my best, though, to include everything that might be important. And if I haven't discussed here becomes relevant, I will do my best to catch you up then.

Okay, here we go.

Summary of Events

Okay, I left out a small piece of relevant information from The Maze Runner. I left it out on purpose, because it's more relevant here.  Anyway, after the "rescue," the Gladers are told about the purpose of the maze. There was a disease called the Flare that hit Earth after massive sun flares burned the Earth's surface. Basically, the Earth is looking pretty shitty. The maze was created as a sort of trial to test these young people and see if they could possibly bring an end to the massive horror show that is the present state of the Earth. Basically, the maze was way safer than anything outside of it. And the boys in the trial are the best chance humanity has for survival. No pressure.

Monday, April 21, 2014

The Maze Runner

This book. This fucking book. I just... Lordy.

This is what the first book of a series should be. Bewildering, traumatizing, and exciting, The Maze Runner by James Dashner is fantastic. Let's look at the specifics.


Thomas, the main character, awakes in a dark box that is moving slowly upwards. Moving towards what, he has no idea. In fact, he has no idea who he is, where he is, or how he got there. All he remembers is his first name and some basics about the world. He doesn't have any memories of his life at all. You will be reminded of this constantly throughout the first half of the book. It gets really irritating after a while, but after a bit, the constant reminders stop. Which is nice. But I digress.

After the box stops and  the lid opens, Thomas is met by sixty-ish teenage boys who are living in a glade at the center of a massive maze. Throughout the novel, Thomas makes friends (Minho, Chuck, Newt, Alby) and enemies (that motherfucker Gally) in this group. In fact, more than one person tries is kill him.

The day after Thomas arrives, a girl in a coma comes up in the box with a note saying that everything is about the change. This is the first girl that has ever been in the maze. We know nothing about her, but Thomas has an immediate connection with her, despite the fact that she is in a coma. She stays in a coma from a solid portion of the book. But there is something strange about her. For some unknown reason, the girl can speak in Thomas's head. This is how we learn that her name is Theresa, that she knows Thomas from before the maze, and that she is bringing about the end of the maze situation. Basically, Theresa is the catalyst for the end of the book.

Inside the maze live these nasty, horrifying creatures called Grievers. They attack and kill people who enter the maze (not all the time, but there are attacks). When Gladers are attacked by the Grievers, they are given a serum that keeps them from dying, but they experience intense pain and regain some of their memories.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Opinion Time

Okay, so I started this blog at an odd time. I am currently in the middle of the second Maze Runner book by James Dashner (the Scorch Trials). So I need some input. Should I start out with a review of how I found the Maze Runner, then get you caught up on where I am in the Scorch Trials and go from there? Or should I start a new book just for all of you lovelies?

If helps your decision at all, the Maze Runner is really great and, so far, the Scorch Trials is even better.

Anyway, let me know what you think in the comments.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Introductions are Always Tough


You may not know me but you seem to have stumbled across my blog. Let me tell you about myself.  I am a 25-year-old literature enthusiast with a degree in English. I love reading books and thinking about books and talking about books. So that it what this blog is going to be about. Books. I will endeavor to read as many classic novels as I can and give you my take on them. I will give you updates (I'm going to shoot for daily, but you never know) on my progress and thoughts. Sound good?