The Sun Will Come Out...

I'm using this gif every time I fuck something up.

Tomorrow! Tommorow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be an update!

Not as catchy, but super effective. As you may have guessed by the Annie quoting, I will be posting an update tomorrow, instead of today. I just got back from a doctor's appointment (couldn't breath very well for about 4 days, which was fun), and I have to be at work in an hour, so there is no time for Shakespeare today. I know, I know, there is always time for Shakespeare, but I'm tired and I don't feel like spending the next hour writing an update that I might not be able to finish before I have to leave. So, for now, this will have to do. Tomorrow we will discuss the happening of the play, and the fact that Hamlet has already begun to lose his damn mind. Should be fun.

Until tomorrow, Happy Reading.

Hamlet Part 2: Better Late Than Never

Welcome back to Tuesday! It's lovely to see you all again. Or it would be, if this were a live discussion where I could actually see your lovely faces and not a one-sided virtual love-fest of

Nothing goes together better than Shakespeare and Hiddleston.

Shakespeare and sarcasm where I basically talk to myself. Anyway, on to the text!

Act 1 Scene 3

Laertes is having a conversation with his sister, Ophelia. Apparently, Ophelia has been seen carrying on with Hamlet. He asks her to stop seeing Hamlet because he (Laertes) is leaving. He tells her the Hamlet might love her, but he really only wants one thing. He tells Ophelia that it's not worth risking her honor over him, so she should just knock it off. Ophelia then tells him to not be a hypocrite and protect his virtue, too, because it would be really shitty of him to tell her to not get laid while he is doing whomever he likes. You tell 'em, Ophelia.

At this point, their father, Polonius, enters. He asks why Laertes is still hanging around. He asks in a nice way, he's not just being a dick. He's not Claudius, after all. Polonius gives Laertes some advice to take with him back to France. He tells Laertes a bunch of stuff that is pretty solid - listen and don't speak, be friendly but not common, don't lend or borrow. Most importantly he tells Laertes "to thine own self be true," which should sound familiar. It's also fantastic advice. Laertes then reminds Ophelia what he said, she reminds him what she told him, and Laertes exits.

Polonius is naturally curious as to what his two children were talking about. When she tells him they were talking about Hamlet, Polonius has a bunch to say. Polonius starts telling Ophelia that she doesn't know she doesn't know herself very well and asks what her relationship to Hamlet is. She tells him that Hamlet has told her that he has feeling for her. Polonius asks if she believes him. She doesn't know. Polonius says he will teach her. Because why not be a dick? Apparently he can only be respectful of one kid. He says that she shouldn't sleep with him because it would tarnish her honor and, more importantly, his own. Ophelia then basically says, "but daddy, he loves me!" Polonius again states that she shouldn't believe what he says and that she shouldn't even talk to him. Ophelia says she will obey and they leave the stage.

Oh Shit Moment

So... I forgot that yesterday was Sunday. Actually, that's a lie. I knew yesterday was Sunday, I just went to the Seahawks game and forgot that writing about Shakespeare was a thing I was supposed to be doing. However, I will post an update on Hamlet tomorrow. And my regular posts will be moving back to Tuesday since my second job has ended.

Okay? Sound good to everyone? Great. See you tomorrow.

Until tomorrow, happy reading.

Hamlet Part 1: Yes, I'm Actually Reading This for Fun

It's time to read some actual classical literature! I know you're all thrilled, as well you should be. I fucking love Shakespeare. Shakespeare is the writer of some pretty great puns, dick jokes, and wholesale lunacy, all of which are evidenced in this ridiculous but very serious play. We'll go slowly, so as not to overwhelm.

Act 1 Scene 1

At the beginning, there is a slow introduction of characters. A few guards are introduced, firstly Bernardo and Francisco. Francisco is coming to release Bernardo from duty for the night. Bernardo leaves after telling Bernardo to look out for Horatio and Marcellus. Horatio is a friend of Hamlet and Marcellus is another guard. Suddenly, as if on cue, Horatio and Marcellus appear. There are greetings and then Francisco leaves. None of this is very important. 

After Bernardo takes his leave, the others begin talking about an apparition they have seen the last

Even the captions think this is dumb.

couple of nights. Bernardo starts to tell the story when the apparition suddenly appears!  Bernardo tells Horatio to try to speak to it because "Thou art a scholar." Basically, 'you went to college. You go talk to it." Weird logic, but okay. The really weird this is: it works. Horatio actually tries to speak to the ghost. I don't know what kind of college Horatio went to, but I'm pretty sure 'ghost-whispering' wasn't part of the coarse work. Unsurprisingly, it doesn't work. The ghost walks off and Marcellus tells Horatio he offended it. I guess his schooling wasn't as great as previously thought. Horatio calls after it but Marcellus bursts his bubble with "'Tis gone and will not answer." Yeah, the only reason the ghost won't speak to you is because you offended it and it left, Horatio. Duh.

The Death Cure Part 10 Phase 2: It's Really Over This Time

Alright, kids. It's time for the thrilling conclusion!

Chapters 64-END

Alright, last time we checked in, Thomas had just learned that the other Immunes that WICKED had kidnapped are being kept in the Maze. He heads out to try to find the rest of the Right Arm in order to get some help rescuing people. He gets outside and tries to find the hole that the Right Arm blasted into the building. He's creeping around and he finally sees it. There are two people in civilian clothes guarding the hole. They are members of the Right Arm, for sure. Thomas goes to walk to the hole

In which Rat Man is Pennywise.

and is stopped by one hand over his mouth and one wrapped around his chest. He is brought to the ground by an unnamed guard. Above him stands Rat Man. That creepy son of a bitch. He tells Thomas, "Looks like not everyone in my organization is on the same team after all...I guess we're going to have to do this the hard way." Rat Man they pulls out a long knife. "I've never thought of myself as a violent man, but you and your friends sure have driven me to the brink." He says that he is going to complete his project (i.e. murdering Thomas for his brain). The guard let's go of Thomas's mouth and Thomas takes that as an opportunity to go on the offensive. He kicks Rat Man in the face and wiggles away from the guard. He then kicks the knife away from Rat Man. There is a struggle where everyone is trying to get the knife. Thomas eventually gets it and starts trying to make a deal to get away. Rat Man's not going for it, so Thomas throws the knife and it sticks in the guard's neck. Then, Thomas runs for the hole in the wall. He yells to the Right Arm peeps that he's one of them. They just take him at his word because why be suspicious? WICKED isn't super shady at all.

Death Cure Part 10: Let's Get This Over With

For once, that is not just pithy sarcasm. That's the actual theme of the end of this book.

I couldn't do it all in one post.

Let's get down to it.

Chapters 51-64

I know, I promised I would finish the book. And, to my credit, I did. It's just a lot to get through, so this is going to have to be a two part write up. The book is finished and I was going to write it all up tonight, but I wrote about half and was over 1,700 words. I swear by all that is right and holy, I will post part 2 Tuesday
night.

Okay, on to the text.

At the end of the last chapter, Vince of the Right Arm had revealed their plan to sneak into WICKED using their kidnapped Immunes as cover. He explain the plan a bit further. He tells Thomas that a member of the Right Arm has developed a chip that can shut down all of the weapons that WICKED use. See, they work on electronics and blah blah blah basically, they will have an even shot of taking the compound. Thomas agrees to plant the device, going in a few hours before the rest of the Right Arm comes. He is taught to use the device by the lady who designed it, and takes it with him in a backpack. This plan is put in motion when Thomas gets into a van with the guard who drove them to the current location and a Berg pilot who is going to fly them to a location near the WICKED compound and they head to the airport