Saturday, August 30, 2014

An Apology, An Explanation, and a Deal.

12 hour days are a bitch.
I'm very sorry for what I'm about to do to you. I have to forego my post tomorrow. My second job has been crazy. It's been a real all-hands-on-deck situation and I can't break away. So, unfortunately, I will be working tomorrow. If today is any indication, I will probably be there around 12 hours. While, yes, I could still probably make an update at some point tomorrow, I'm going to be too exhausted and irritated to do anything other than complain, eat, and complain some more.

As a bargain, I'll offer this. If you stick with me past this tiny bump in the road, I promise you, I will finish The Death Cure by next Sunday and present you with an extravagant, sarcastic, and by all accounts delightful final Death Cure update, complete with snarky title and reaction gifs aplenty. Does that sound good?

I didn't want to have to do this to you. I tried to find any way, any little crack of time to work in even a small update, but I'm just too fucking tired and done with everything. I'm so, so sorry about this. I really am.

Until next time, happy reading.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Death Cure Part 9: Everything is Terrible All the Time Always

It's Sunday yet again. Time for another update. I'm working on reading more per week, but I don't want to overwhelm you guys with this massive wall of text to get through. So it's opinion time. Would you rather have longer updates and finish the book itself more quickly, or would you rather have shorter updates that are easier to get through? Either works for me, I'm just a little surprised that we're already at part nine and I still have 100 pages to read. Let me know what you think.

On to the text!

Chapters 40-51

The gang has just left Newt in the bowling alley. They walk through the open door to see that the guards have gone and there are a shit-ton of Cranks outside waiting for them. Thomas, to his credit, just marches right fucking through. This kid is fucking done with everything. He knows that if they run, the Cranks will give chase, so he tries to remain calm, despite the fact that they are surrounded by bloodthirsty, mangled, bloody faces. Thomas leads them out into the outer parts of the Crank Palace.

Once they leave the Central Zone, Thomas hears someone tell them to run. It's one of the guards from earlier. He and his partner are hauling ass out of this alley. They have been relieved of their weapons and are being chased by some particularly ravenous Cranks. It basically plays out like any fast-zombie movie. While running, the guards tell the gang that they were attacked and dragged out of the Central Zone. All in all, not great for the gang. The guards turn down this other random alley and the gang continues toward the door. The gang is still being chased as they leave the Crank Palace and head toward the Berg. The gang all hit the Berg at once, far ahead of the Cranks who have no chance of catching up. Jorge flies the Berg up and lets it hover in the air above the Cranks so they can gather their thoughts.

I will stop using this gif when it stops being relevant.
Once in the air, the gang looks down at the Cranks who just chased them. They talk about the Cranks and what their lives must have been like a few months ago. Minho flips. "How can you worry about them? Was I alone just now? With my friend? His name is Newt." Kid's got a point. Minho slumps to the floor. "What happens when he runs out of Launcher grenades?" When no one responds, Thomas sinks down next to him and they sit in silence and joint misery for a while.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Death Cure Part 8: The Search for Spock

And by Spock, I mean Newt. After all the discussion of Red Shirt last week, it was hard to resist the Star Trek reference. And, as you will soon see, it is dripping in relevance. Let's get started.

Chapters 33-39

In the beginning, the gang is wandering around the city, trying to get to Newt, who is still wiling away his time off screen doing God knows what. After a while of not being able to find a cab, they conclude that it's too late and dark to leave that night (why they didn't just take Red Shirt's car, I will never know). Plus, the city seems super murder-y with everyone having disappeared after the issue with the Crank in the coffee shop. They are walking back to their hotel when Jorge suddenly stops. He tells the others that he hears something behind them. It's like a whispering. Brenda then shouts and points off into the distance. She saw something moving. She thinks it was a person who came out from behind a building and then just back. Minho starts shouting at the person Brenda saw, to no avail. Nothing more happens and they all go back to the hotel. Foreshadowing is lovely, but obvious in this book. It's like, 'oh, gee. I wonder if that will be important later.' Subtly is a lost art.

In the morning, the gang gets up and heads out to find Newt on the Berg where they left him. They walk
What a fucking horror show.
through the city in an attempt to find a cab. Again, they totally should have stolen that car. Everything would be much easier. But anyway, they walk down this dark alley and see movement in an empty lot. After a while, they see that it's a man who seems to be digging in the dirt for something. They continue walking but turn back at the end of the alley, everyone curious as to what the man was doing. As if sensing their curiosity, the man looks directly at them. He is covered in blood. It's on his face, his hands, it's coming out of his mouth. He then returns to what he was doing. The gang, naturally terrified, runs for two blocks until they find a cab. Once in the cab, Minho says what they were all thinking - they just saw a Crank eating a person. He continues with, "I'm pretty sure that's not something you're supposed to see during a nice leisurely stroll through a quarantined city in the middle of the day. I believe Gally. I think this place is crawling with Cranks,
and soon the whole city's gonna start killing each other." Minho's usually pretty sarcastic, but when he's not, he's pretty fucking spot on. The way Minho is used as both comedic relief and the unwavering voice of reason is effective and heartbreaking. The fact that, of all people, sarcastic dick Minho is the one to say these terrifying things means that they are true because, if even Minho can't make a joke about it, it's pretty fucking serious.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Death Cure Part 7: Everyone Instantly Hates Thomas

Hello. Welcome to Sunday. This seems weird to be blogging on a day that isn't Tuesday. But we'll see how this goes. Anyway, onto the reading!

Chapters 29-32

So we start out with the gang going to a coffee shop to get something to eat. The pick a table near the back and Jorge goes to get everyone some provisions. While they are sitting, Thomas notices a strange dude sitting near the window. He isn't drinking his coffee, but just staring at one space on the wall with a blank expression. Thomas points this out to Brenda, who says that he's on the Bliss and would end up in jail if anyone else noticed.

Jorge returns with food and everyone eats. They all stand to leave and Brenda tells Jorge and Minho to wait outside because she has to tell Thomas something. Minho gets frustrated with all the secrets being kept, but Thomas assures Minho that he will tell Minho everything. I just used Minho three times in one sentence, but it's the only way to be clear. Fucking limited English pronouns. Anyway, Minho and Jorge leave Thomas and Brenda alone. She begins to tell him the she meant everything she said in the Scorch, that he deserves to know things, and that there are things she needs to tell him. This all falls on Thomas's deaf ears because he
Thomas doesn't care anymore and it's lovely.
couldn't give less of a shit. He tells her flat out that he doesn't want to know. He doesn't care about the past, only what needs to happen next. She tells him that he is doing the right thing and she will keep helping.

Just then, the strange man by the window takes something out of his pocket and sticks it in his elbow. He instantly relaxes, catching the attention of a red-shirted Flare tester by the door. Red-Shirt walks over to strange window man. They start talking, but Thomas can't hear what they are saying. He watches intently. Brenda tells Thomas that they need to leave. He stands to go when Red-Shirt pulls out a gun. He announces to the crowd, "We've got an infected! Everyone evacuate the building!" Super helpful, dude. Nothing says 'doing your job' like causing mass panic. Everyone freaks out and runs for the one exit.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014


Thanks for understanding.
It helps if you read the title like a monster truck announcer.

So... I didn't read anything. I started a new job literally today. It was a surprise, thought it was just
orientation. That was... interesting. As a consequence, I will no longer be updating on Tuesdays. Your regularly scheduled programming will be moving to Sundays. Hence, the title.

Sorry for the lack of update. I'm doing stuff. And occasionally things. But I can promise you that Sunday is the new magic day for literary sarcasm.

Until Sunday, happy reading.